Motherhood

You know, 3 weeks ago I was terrified.
Let’s be honest. Almost 10 months ago I was terrified when that second line showed up. I was barely handling the 3 kids I had without losing my mind how exactly was I going to cope with 4? Especially when my youngest was attached to me at the hip. 

Well over the next 9 months, I cried, I screamed, I freaked out and had panic attacks. And through it all I tried to keep a happy face. For the kids. I’m mom after all, never let them see you break. As time drew nearer I got more and more nervous. But when I saw her face, in person, for the first time all those fears melted because she was just as perfect and beautiful as the other 3 were. I still wasn’t sure how exactly I was gonna do it, but one thing I knew for sure was “it” was gonna get done. I have barely left the house these past 3 weeks and the only reason I did was because dustin was home. However, just as I knew it would, duty called. Yesterday I had to go do laundry. I put it off long enough and HAD to go to the laundry mat. I normally go when the kids are in school or when dustin can keep them. I had no choice. So yesterday I loaded up all 4 kids and my mountain of laundry and spent the day, yes all day, at the laundry mat. Then, as if I wanted to test my luck, or skill, I took ALL FOUR KIDS GROCERY SHOPPING TODAY! What was I thinking?!?!

I tell you though. I survived. My kids survived. And. I didn’t lose my shit.

So maybe, just maybe, I am getting the hang of this mom of 4 thing. Maybe I do have this. Maybe it isn’t so terrifying after all. Cause at night, when I check on them in their beds before I go to bed, and I see their sweet sleeping figures snuggled next to the dogs, or in the crib, life makes sense. It’s all worth it.

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One thought on “Motherhood

  1. Girl you got this in the bag! Remember Motherhood is the hardest journey ever imagined and it doesn’t come with instructions. You are doing great!

    Liked by 1 person

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